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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The News

Reading the news these days has become extremely depressing. I don’t know about you but I don’t see any good news coming out of anywhere in this world. You wake up, read the news, and you see a couple of bombings here, and a few deaths there. Well, you brush your teeth and go about your morning routine.
A bombing here, a couple of kidnappings there. Africa. This is definitely bad news.
Oh, they signed a treaty. Now the news look a little bit better.
You take a shower.
Tsunami hits.
You put on some clothes.
You swear a suit and a tie. You look sharp.
Just in time for an earthquake. Dress code: formal.
I’ll make some breakfast. Scrambled eggs.
Maybe a couple of killings here and there and add some minor explosions. Some shit blows up in Afghanistan. What do you expect?
You drive to work or take the bus. Someone is reading the paper: looks like they found somebody. They don’t remember what he did but he’s been located anyways.
At work things seem a little bit peaceful. Please keep it up. By the end of the day more bad things happen and it’s all because of you.
It seems like the more you’re awake, the more shit happens in the world. Maybe I’ll go take a nap to avoid wreaking more havoc.
I wake up.
Now you’re in trouble: a war started while you were sleeping. It appears the guys who signed the treaty were not so serious about it after all.
Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to bed.

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Friday, May 05, 2006

News from the Future (part I)

News from the Future

I’ve been reading the middle-east section on the BBC website sometime in the future.

Here’s one of them:

Egyptian President Proposes Extension of Emergency Laws

The current Egyptian president, Ahmed Mohamed Sherif Gamal Mubarak has proposed a 2 year extension of the current emergency laws which have been in place since 1981. The proposition comes a year after the current president has won the elections, again, at a sweeping 99.9%. Independent human rights organizations have made claims that the remaining 0.01% is currently detained for interrogation under no legal justification whatsoever. However, the government currently claims that the 0.01% has been committed to a mental institution under their own will.

Here’s some news that DO NOT exist in the future:

Arab, Israeli and Iranian Leaders Meet at the Annual Middle-Eastern Union Summit

The leaders discuss plans forwards for the current Middle-Eastern Union and discuss last year's financial results. The meetings come at a crucial time; a year after the new unified monetary unit (ME Pound) has been in place. Reports show that the current MEU leader, an Israeli, has helped boom the organization’s total exports as opposed to last year. The leaders will possibly discuss the addition of new countries such as Afghanistan, given its recent economic growth figures, to the union.

Female Discovers Cure for Cancer

Jameela, 28 year old women who lives in Jeddah, has discovered a new medicine that could possibly cure lung cancer. The result comes after years and years of research which has been funded by the Middle-east research institute, an organization under the umbrella of Middle-East Union. Mr Ahmed, the current president of the Middle-Eastern Union has announced his full pledged support. The medicine will first be tested at laboratory in the Iraqi city of Basra where such tests usually take place.

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Thursday, May 04, 2006

Why I Moved Back to Egypt (part I)

I keep getting this question a lot. This is why I compiled the following list. I'll keep adding to it as time goes by. These are the reasons I could come up with today:

NUTRITIONAL REASON: After a night out, you can always find food after 5:00 am
MEDITATIVE REASON: 24 hour rush hour means you'll get stuck in traffic with constant honking and plenty of time to think.
LIBERTARIAN REASON: Absent or minimal traffic rules: if there is no physical barrier blocking your way, then the road is all yours.
PRACTICAL REASON: You always 'know someone' who knows someone who can get things done regarding some government paperwork.
AROMA-THERAPEUTIC REASON: Everyone wears cologne and sometimes stink at the same time
HEALTH REASON: You can smoke virtually anywhere: at the mall, inside buildings, inside offices, inside an elevator (yes I saw it happen), inside a car, inside an airport, you name it…
ENTERTAINMENT REASON: There is always something happening: be it explosions, weddings, funerals, birthdays, anniversaries, demonstrations, police beatings, more demonstrations, elections, election-related violence, car accidents, train accidents,... the list goes on.